WEBVTT

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I think it's safe to say

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that all humans will be intimate with death

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at least once in their lives.

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But what if that intimacy began

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long before you faced your own transition

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from life into death?

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What would life be like

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if the dead literally lived alongside you?

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In my husband's homeland

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in the highlands of Sulawesi island

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in eastern Indonesia,

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there is a community of people that experience death

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not as a singular event

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but as a gradual social process.

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In Tana Toraja,

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the most important social moments in people's lives,

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the focal points of social and cultural interaction

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are not weddings or births or even family dinners,

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but funerals.

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So these funerals are characterized

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by elaborate rituals

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that tie people in a system of reciprocal debt

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based on the amount of animals --

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pigs, chickens and, most importantly, water buffalo --

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that are sacrificed and distributed

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in the name of the deceased.

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So this cultural complex surrounding death,

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the ritual enactment of the end of life,

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has made death the most visible

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and remarkable aspect of Toraja's landscape.

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Lasting anywhere from a few days

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to a few weeks,

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funeral ceremonies are a raucous affair,

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where commemorating someone who's died

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is not so much a private sadness

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but more of a publicly shared transition.

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And it's a transition that's just as much

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about the identity of the living

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as it is about remembrance of the dead.

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So every year, thousands of visitors

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come to Tana Toraja to see, as it were,

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this culture of death,

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and for many people these grandiose ceremonies

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and the length of the ceremonies

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are somehow incommensurable

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with the way that we face our own mortality in the West.

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So even as we share death as a universal experience,

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it's not experienced the same way the world over.

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And as an anthropologist,

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I see these differences in experience

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being rooted in the cultural and social world

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through which we define the phenomena around us.

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So where we see an unquestionable reality,

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death as an irrefutable biological condition,

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Torajans see the expired corporeal form

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as part of a larger social genesis.

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So again, the physical cessation of life

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is not the same as death.

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In fact, a member of society is only truly dead

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when the extended family can agree upon

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and marshal the resources necessary

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to hold a funeral ceremony

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that is considered appropriate in terms of resources

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for the status of the deceased.

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And this ceremony has to take place

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in front of the eyes of the whole community

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with everyone's participation.

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So after a person's physical death,

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their body is placed in a special room

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in the traditional residence, which is called the tongkonan.

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And the tongkonan is symbolic

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not only of the family's identity

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but also of the human life cycle from birth to death.

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So essentially, the shape of the building

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that you're born into is the shape

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of the structure which carries you

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to your ancestral resting place.

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Until the funeral ceremony,

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which can be held years after a person's physical death,

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the deceased is referred to as "to makala," a sick person,

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or "to mama," a person who is asleep,

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and they continue to be a member of the household.

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They are symbolically fed and cared for,

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and the family at this time

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will begin a number of ritual injunctions,

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which communicates to the wider community around them

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that one of their members is undergoing the transition

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from this life into the afterlife

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known as Puya.

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So I know what some of you must be thinking right now.

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Is she really saying that these people live

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with the bodies of their dead relatives?

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And that's exactly what I'm saying.

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But instead of giving in to the sort of visceral reaction

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we have to this idea of proximity to bodies,

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proximity to death,

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or how this notion just does not fit

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into our very biological or medical

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sort of definition of death,

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I like to think about what the Torajan way

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of viewing death encompasses of the human experience

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that the medical definition leaves out.

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I think that Torajans socially recognize

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and culturally express

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what many of us feel to be true

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despite the widespread acceptance

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of the biomedical definition of death,

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and that is that our relationships with other humans,

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their impact on our social reality,

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doesn't cease with the termination

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of the physical processes of the body,

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that there's a period of transition

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as the relationship between the living and the dead

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is transformed but not ended.

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So Torajans express this idea of this enduring relationship

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by lavishing love and attention

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on the most visible symbol of that relationship,

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the human body.

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So my husband has fond memories

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of talking to and playing with

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and generally being around his deceased grandfather,

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and for him there is nothing unnatural about this.

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This is a natural part of the process

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as the family comes to terms with the transition

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in their relationship to the deceased,

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and this is the transition from relating to the deceased

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as a person who's living

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to relating to the deceased

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as a person who's an ancestor.

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And here you can see these wooden effigies

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of the ancestors,

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so these are people who have already been buried,

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already had a funeral ceremony.

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These are called tau tau.

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So the funeral ceremony itself

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embodies this relational perspective on death.

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It ritualizes the impact of death on families

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and communities.

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And it's also a moment of self-awareness.

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It's a moment when people think about who they are,

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their place in society,

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and their role in the life cycle

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in accordance with Torajan cosmology.

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There's a saying in Toraja

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that all people will become grandparents,

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and what this means is that after death,

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we all become part of the ancestral line

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that anchors us between the past and the present

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and will define who our loved ones are into the future.

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So essentially, we all become grandparents

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to the generations of human children

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that come after us.

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And this metaphor of membership

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in the greater human family

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is the way that children also describe

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the money that they invest

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in these sacrificial buffaloes

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that are thought to carry people's soul

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from here to the afterlife,

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and children will explain

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that they will invest the money in this

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because they want to repay their parents

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the debt for all of the years their parents spent

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investing and caring for them.

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But the sacrifice of buffalo

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and the ritual display of wealth

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also exhibits the status of the deceased,

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and, by extension, the deceased's family.

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So at funerals, relationships are reconfirmed

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but also transformed

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in a ritual drama that highlights

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the most salient feature about death in this place:

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its impact on life and the relationships of the living.

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So all of this focus on death

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doesn't mean that Torajans don't aspire

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to the ideal of a long life.

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They engage in many practices

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thought to confer good health

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and survival to an advanced age.

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But they don't put much stock

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in efforts to prolong life in the face of debilitating illness

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or in old age.

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It's said in Toraja that everybody has

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sort of a predetermined amount of life.

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It's called the sunga'.

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And like a thread, it should be allowed to unspool

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to its natural end.

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So by having death as a part

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of the cultural and social fabric of life,

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people's everyday decisions about their health

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and healthcare are affected.

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The patriarch of my husband's maternal clan,

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Nenet Katcha,

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is now approaching the age of 100, as far as we can tell.

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And there are increasing signs

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that he is about to depart on his own journey for Puya.

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And his death will be greatly mourned.

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But I know that my husband's family

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looks forward to the moment

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when they can ritually display

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what his remarkable presence has meant to their lives,

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when they can ritually recount

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his life's narrative,

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weaving his story

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into the history of their community.

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His story is their story.

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His funeral songs will sing them a song about themselves.

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And it's a story that has no discernible beginning,

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no foreseeable end.

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It's a story that goes on

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long after his body no longer does.

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People ask me if I'm frightened or repulsed

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by participating in a culture

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where the physical manifestations of death

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greet us at every turn.

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But I see something profoundly transformative

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in experiencing death as a social process

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and not just a biological one.

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In reality, the relationship between the living and the dead

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has its own drama in the U.S. healthcare system,

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where decisions about how long to stretch

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the thread of life are made based on our emotional

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and social ties with the people around us,

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not just on medicine's ability to prolong life.

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We, like the Torajans,

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base our decisions about life

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on the meanings and the definitions

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that we ascribe to death.

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So I'm not suggesting that anyone in this audience

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should run out and adopt the traditions

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of the Torajans.

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It might be a little bit difficult

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to put into play in the United States.

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But I want to ask what we can gain

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from seeing physical death not only as a biological process

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but as part of the greater human story.

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What would it be like to look on

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the expired human form with love

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because it's so intimately a part of who we all are?

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If we could expand our definition of death

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to encompass life,

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we could experience death as part of life

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and perhaps face death

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with something other than fear.

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Perhaps one of the answers to the challenges

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that are facing the U.S. healthcare system,

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particularly in the end-of-life care,

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is as simple as a shift in perspective,

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and the shift in perspective in this case

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would be to look at the social life of every death.

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It might help us recognize that the way we limit

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our conversation about death

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to something that's medical or biological

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is reflective of a larger culture that we all share

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of avoiding death, being afraid of talking about it.

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If we could entertain and value

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other kinds of knowledge about life,

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including other definitions of death,

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it has the potential to change the discussions

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that we have about the end of life.

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It could change the way that we die,

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but more importantly,

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it could transform the way that we live.

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(Applause)