WEBVTT

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I was on a long road trip this summer,

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and I was having
a wonderful time listening

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to the amazing Isabel Wilkerson's
"The Warmth of Other Suns."

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It documents six million black folks
fleeing the South from 1915 to 1970

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looking for a respite
from all the brutality

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and trying to get to a better
opportunity up North,

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and it was filled with stories
of the resilience and the brilliance

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of African-Americans,

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and it was also really hard to hear
all the stories of the horrors

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It was especially hard to hear
about the beatings and the burnings

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and the lynchings of black men.

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And I said, "You know,
this is a little deep.

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I need a break. I'm going
to turn on the radio."

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I turned it on, and there it was:

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Ferguson, Missouri,

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Michael Brown,

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18-year-old black man,

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unarmed, shot by a white police officer,
laid on the ground dead,

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blood running for four hours

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while his grandmother and little children
and his neighbors watched in horror,

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and I thought,

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here it is again.

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This violence, this brutality
against black men

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has been going on for centuries.

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I mean, it's the same story.
It's just different names.

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It could have been Amadou Diallo.

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It could have been Sean Bell.

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It could have been Oscar Grant.

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It could have been Trayvon Martin.

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This violence, this brutality,

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is really something that's part
of our national psyche.

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It's part of our collective history.

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What are we going to do about it?

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You know that part of us that still
crosses the street,

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locks the doors,

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clutches the purses,

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when we see young black men?

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That part.

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I mean, I know we're not
shooting people down in the street,

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but I'm saying that the same
stereotypes and prejudices

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that fuel those kinds of tragic incidents

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are in us.

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We've been schooled in them as well.

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I believe that we can stop
these types of incidents,

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these Fergusons from happening,

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by looking within
and being willing to change ourselves.

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So I have a call to action for you.

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There are three things that I want
to offer us today to think about

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as ways to stop Ferguson
from happening again;

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three things that I think will help us

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reform our images of young black men;

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three things that I'm hoping
will not only protect them

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but will open the world
so that they can thrive.

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Can you imagine that?

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Can you imagine our country
embracing young black men,

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seeing them as part of our future,
giving them that kind of openness,

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that kind of grace we give
to people we love?

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How much better would our lives be?
How much better would our country be?

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Let me just start with number one.

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We gotta get out of denial.

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Stop trying to be good people.

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We need real people.

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You know, I do a lot of diversity work,

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and people will come up to me
at the beginning of the workshop.

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They're like, "Oh, Ms. Diversity Lady,
we're so glad you're here" --

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(Laughter) --

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"but we don't have a biased bone
in our body."

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And I'm like, "Really?

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Because I do this work every day,
and I see all my biases."

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I mean, not too long ago, I was on a plane

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and I heard the voice of a woman
pilot coming over the P.A. system,

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and I was just so excited, so thrilled.

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I was like, "Yes, women,
we are rocking it.

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We are now in the stratosphere."

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It was all good, and then it started
getting turbulent and bumpy,

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and I was like,

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"I hope she can drive."

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(Laughter)

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I know. Right.

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But it's not even like
I knew that was a bias

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until I was coming back on the other leg
and there's always a guy driving

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and it's often turbulent and bumpy,

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and I've never questioned
the confidence of the male driver.

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The pilot is good.

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Now, here's the problem.

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If you ask me explicitly,
I would say, "Female pilot: awesome."

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But it appears that when things get funky
and a little troublesome, a little risky,

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I lean on a bias that I didn't
even know that I had.

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You know, fast-moving planes in the sky,

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I want a guy.

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That's my default.

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Men are my default.

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Who is your default?

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Who do you trust?

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Who are you afraid of?

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Who do you implicitly feel connected to?

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Who do you run away from?

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I'm going to tell you
what we have learned.

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The implicit association test,
which measures unconscious bias,

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you can go online and take it.

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Five million people have taken it.

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Turns out, our default is white.
We like white people.

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We prefer white. What do I mean by that?

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When people are shown images
of black men and white men,

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we are more quickly able to associate

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that picture with a positive word,
that white person with a positive word,

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than we are when we are
trying to associate

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positive with a black face,
and vice versa.

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When we see a black face,

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it is easier for us to connect
black with negative

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than it is white with negative.

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Seventy percent of white people
taking that test prefer white.

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Fifty percent of black people
taking that test prefer white.

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You see, we were all outside
when the contamination came down.

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What do we do about the fact
that our brain automatically associates?

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You know, one of the things
that you probably are thinking about,

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and you're probably like, you know what,

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I'm just going to double down
on my color blindness.

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Yes, I'm going to recommit to that.

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I'm going to suggest to you, no.

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We've gone about as far as we can go
trying to make a difference

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trying to not see color.

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The problem was never that we saw color.
It was what we did when we saw the color.

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It's a false ideal.

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And while we're busy
pretending not to see,

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we are not being aware of the ways
in which racial difference

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is changing people's possibilities,
that's keeping them from thriving,

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and sometimes it's causing them
an early death.

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So in fact, what the scientists
are telling us is, no way.

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Don't even think about color blindness.

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In fact, what they're suggesting is,

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stare at awesome black people.

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(Laughter)

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Look at them directly in their faces
and memorize them,

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because when we look
at awesome folks who are black,

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it helps to dissociate

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the association that happens
automatically in our brain.

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Why do you think I'm showing you
these beautiful black men behind me?

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There were so many, I had to cut them.

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Okay, so here's the thing:

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I'm trying to reset your automatic
associations about who black men are.

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I'm trying to remind you

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that young black men
grow up to be amazing human beings

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who have changed our lives
and made them better.

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So here's the thing.

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The other possibility in science,

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and it's only temporarily changing
our automatic assumptions,

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but one thing we know

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is that if you take a white person
who is odious that you know,

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and stick it up next to a person of color,

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a black person, who is fabulous,

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then that sometimes actually
causes us to disassociate too.

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So think Jeffrey Dahmer and Colin Powell.

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Just stare at them, right? (Laughter)

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But these are the things.
So go looking for your bias.

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Please, please, just get out of denial
and go looking for disconfirming data

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that will prove that in fact
your old stereotypes are wrong.

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Okay, so that's number one: number two,

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what I'm going to say is move toward
young black men instead of away from them.

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It's not the hardest thing to do,

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but it's also one of these things

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where you have to be conscious
and intentional about it.

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You know, I was in a Wall Street area
one time several years ago

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when I was with a colleague of mine,
and she's really wonderful

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and she does diversity work with me
and she's a woman of color, she's Korean.

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And we were outside,
it was late at night,

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and we were sort of wondering where
we were going, we were lost.

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And I saw this person across the street,
and I was thinking, "Oh great, black guy."

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I was going toward him
without even thinking about it.

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And she was like,
"Oh, that's interesting."

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The guy across the street,
he was a black guy.

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I think black guys generally
know where they're going.

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I don't know why exactly I think that,
but that's what I think.

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So she was saying, "Oh, you
were going, 'Yay, a black guy'?"

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She said, "I was going,
'Ooh, a black guy.'"

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Other direction. Same need,
same guy, same clothes,

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same time, same street,
different reaction.

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And she said, "I feel so bad.
I'm a diversity consultant.

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I did the black guy thing.
I'm a woman of color. Oh my God!"

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And I said, "You know what? Please.
We really need to relax about this."

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I mean, you've got to realize
I go way back with black guys.

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(Laughter)

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My dad is a black guy.
You see what I'm saying?

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I've got a 6'5" black guy son.
I was married to a black guy.

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My black guy thing
is so wide and so deep

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that I can pretty much sort
and figure out who that black guy is,

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and he was my black guy.

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He said, "Yes, ladies, I know
where you're going. I'll take you there."

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You know, biases are the stories
we make up about people

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before we know who they actually are.

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But how are we going to know who they are

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when we've been told to avoid
and be afraid of them?

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So I'm going to tell you
to walk toward your discomfort.

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And I'm not asking you
to take any crazy risks.

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I'm saying, just do an inventory,

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expand your social
and professional circles.

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Who's in your circle?

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Who's missing?

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How many authentic relationships

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do you have with young black people,
folks, men, women?

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Or any other major difference
from who you are

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and how you roll, so to speak?

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Because, you know what?
Just look around your periphery.

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There may be somebody at work,
in your classroom,

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in your house of worship, somewhere,
there's some black young guy there.

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And you're nice. You say hi.

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I'm saying go deeper, closer, further,
and build the kinds of relationships,

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the kinds of friendships that actually
cause you to see the holistic person

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and to really go against the stereotypes.

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I know some of you are out there,

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"You have no idea how awkward I am.

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Like, I don't think this
is going to work for me.

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I'm sure I'm going to blow this."

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Okay, maybe, but this thing is not
about perfection. It's about connection.

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And you're not going to get comfortable
before you get uncomfortable.

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I mean, you just have to do it.

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And young black men, what I'm saying is

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if someone comes your way, genuinely
and authentically, take the invitation.

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Not everyone is out to get you.

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Go looking for those people
who can see your humanity.

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You know, it's the empathy
and the compassion

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that comes out of having relationships
with people who are different from you.

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Something really powerful
and beautiful happens:

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you start to realize that they are you,

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that they are part of you,
that they are you in your family,

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and then we cease to be bystanders

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and we become actors,
we become advocates,

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and we become allies.

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So go away from your comfort
into a bigger, brighter thing,

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because that is how we will stop
another Ferguson from happening.

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That's how we create a community

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where everybody, especially
young black men, can thrive.

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So this last thing is going to be harder,

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and I know it, but I'm just going
to put it out there anyway.

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When we see something, we have to have
the courage to say something,

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even to the people we love.

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You know, it's holidays
and it's going to be a time

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when we're sitting around the table
and having a good time.

00:14:12.788 --> 00:14:14.987 align:center
Many of us, anyways, will be in holidays,

00:14:14.987 --> 00:14:19.911 align:center
and you've got to listen to
the conversations around the table.

00:14:19.911 --> 00:14:26.603 align:center
You start to say things like,
"Grandma's a bigot."

00:14:26.603 --> 00:14:28.433 align:center
(Laughter)

00:14:28.433 --> 00:14:31.372 align:center
"Uncle Joe is racist."

00:14:31.372 --> 00:14:35.991 align:center
And you know, we love Grandma
and we love Uncle Joe. We do.

00:14:35.991 --> 00:14:41.446 align:center
We know they're good people,
but what they're saying is wrong.

00:14:42.826 --> 00:14:48.473 align:center
And we need to be able to say something,
because you know who else is at the table?

00:14:49.809 --> 00:14:52.663 align:center
The children are at the table.

00:14:52.663 --> 00:14:57.908 align:center
And we wonder why these biases don't die,
and move from generation to generation?

00:14:57.908 --> 00:15:01.159 align:center
Because we're not saying anything.

00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:07.681 align:center
We've got to be willing to say, "Grandma,
we don't call people that anymore."

00:15:07.681 --> 00:15:12.892 align:center
"Uncle Joe, it isn't true
that he deserved that.

00:15:12.892 --> 00:15:15.828 align:center
No one deserves that."

00:15:15.828 --> 00:15:19.242 align:center
And we've got to be willing

00:15:19.242 --> 00:15:24.016 align:center
to not shelter our children
from the ugliness of racism

00:15:24.016 --> 00:15:27.328 align:center
when black parents don't
have the luxury to do so,

00:15:27.328 --> 00:15:32.109 align:center
especially those who have
young black sons.

00:15:32.109 --> 00:15:35.490 align:center
We've got to take
our lovely darlings, our future,

00:15:35.490 --> 00:15:43.292 align:center
and we've got to tell them we have
an amazing country with incredible ideals,

00:15:43.292 --> 00:15:46.271 align:center
we have worked incredibly hard,
and we have made some progress,

00:15:46.271 --> 00:15:49.441 align:center
but we are not done.

00:15:49.441 --> 00:15:53.435 align:center
We still have in us this old stuff

00:15:53.435 --> 00:15:56.476 align:center
about superiority and it is causing us

00:15:56.476 --> 00:15:59.948 align:center
to embed those further
into our institutions

00:15:59.948 --> 00:16:01.927 align:center
and our society and generations,

00:16:01.927 --> 00:16:05.536 align:center
and it is making for despair

00:16:05.536 --> 00:16:12.660 align:center
and disparities and a devastating
devaluing of young black men.

00:16:12.660 --> 00:16:15.121 align:center
We still struggle, you have to tell them,

00:16:15.121 --> 00:16:17.899 align:center
with seeing both the color

00:16:17.899 --> 00:16:21.533 align:center
and the character of young black men,

00:16:21.533 --> 00:16:25.366 align:center
but that you, and you expect them,

00:16:25.366 --> 00:16:29.880 align:center
to be part of the forces of change
in this society

00:16:29.880 --> 00:16:36.448 align:center
that will stand against injustice
and is willing, above all other things,

00:16:36.448 --> 00:16:45.234 align:center
to make a society where young black men
can be seen for all of who they are.

00:16:46.214 --> 00:16:51.136 align:center
So many amazing black men,

00:16:51.136 --> 00:16:59.468 align:center
those who are the most amazing
statesmen that have ever lived,

00:16:59.468 --> 00:17:02.501 align:center
brave soldiers,

00:17:02.501 --> 00:17:06.795 align:center
awesome, hardworking laborers.

00:17:06.795 --> 00:17:11.451 align:center
These are people who
are powerful preachers.

00:17:11.451 --> 00:17:17.046 align:center
They are incredible scientists
and artists and writers.

00:17:17.046 --> 00:17:21.021 align:center
They are dynamic comedians.

00:17:21.021 --> 00:17:25.957 align:center
They are doting grandpas,

00:17:25.957 --> 00:17:28.989 align:center
caring sons.

00:17:28.989 --> 00:17:33.746 align:center
They are strong fathers,

00:17:33.746 --> 00:17:38.102 align:center
and they are young men
with dreams of their own.

00:17:38.102 --> 00:17:41.659 align:center
Thank you.

00:17:41.659 --> 00:17:45.792 align:center
(Applause)